We mirror this Jesus when we leave our comfort to step into brokenness...The fact that the system and its people are broken is the very reason we engage it.
All tagged foster blog
We mirror this Jesus when we leave our comfort to step into brokenness...The fact that the system and its people are broken is the very reason we engage it.
I don’t just struggle through the “how” questions, I struggle through the “why” questions, the “what if” ones. I don’t just question myself, I question God.
This moment that hit me hard, almost as if I had walked into a brick wall. And I thought to myself, “We are literally all he’s got.”
Seeing foster care and adoption on the screen like this is a gift to foster and adoptive families. But it’s not just a gift to those of us who are living it. It’s a gift to everyone else, too.
When his worker called to tell me that his family had been ruled out, she asked if I would be willing to adopt him. “Well, I love him...and I would love to be his mom forever...but I don’t think I’m supposed to be...and I think I know who is.”
You see, at least in every case I’ve experienced, I have a stronger “parental resume” than my foster children’s parents.
It will teach you and your children about the power of every person’s seemingly insignificant, independently insufficient efforts. And it will envision you for doing your part in this too-huge-task of finding a home for every child.
When these kids leave our homes, they don’t leave our hearts. That while we may not be able to care for them or even walk up and say hello, we can always pray for them. I can love this little girl--and all the others who quickly came and went-- in that way forever.
Here's my "how to", a list of all the things I’ve learned while picking up foster babies from the hospital. Things I wish I would’ve known, things I did right, and (more often) things I did wrong.
Foster mom, how do you balance the impossible tension of loving a child like they’re your own, when they’re not? I thought about it. How do you do it? And then I realized: The love is in your heart. The what ifs and questions and worries are in your mind.
I wish you could meet my precious boy. You would understand why I love him so. He is gorgeous and sweet and so easy to love. And I do love him. But when his social worker asked me to adopt him, I said no. The thought of saying good-bye to him breaks my heart, the idea of him not being in our family hurts deeply, but still, I said no.
You are giving a child the chance to live a better life. A chance that they deserve. You are giving them the love and care that they so desperately need. You are making a lifelong, lasting difference in the life of another human being.
I never understood why “foster care” and “adoption” had this eerie and peculiar reputation behind them, when those two things are responsible for the greatest thing that has ever happened to me.
Looking back now I realize it was only three months that I waited for my first placement, but at the time it felt like an eternity. Take the overall lack of phone ringing I had expected, add in a few potential placements falling through, and I was in full will-it-ever-happen-distress mode. Every story of a child languishing without a family was like a dagger in my heart. “I”m here. I’m waiting. Give me a child to love!”
As I’ve been posting about the first week with our newest placement, I’ve had many new or soon-to-be foster parents reach out with thanks and questions. It's reminded me of just how clueless I was at the beginning. Maybe you, new foster mama, are feeling clueless yourself.
One time, a small seven year old girl quietly approached me as I sat in a dark living room after work. “Jerry, can I tell you something?” she asked. “When I first met you I was very, very scared because you are very, very big…"
My husband and I started the process of becoming foster parents. At the beginning, we wanted only one young child. To date, we’ve had 50 children in our home. We went from a three bedroom home to a six bedroom home, allowing us to have the room for more children to love.
You clung to me with tear-filled eyes like your life depended on it, like some stranger would come and take you away from me, too. And my heart clung to you just the same, continually aware of the risk of loving you, continually aware that you may leave...
As a foster mom, you may not get the fruit of prayers answered and hopes realized. You may not get proms, graduations, weddings, and grandchildren. Let’s be real. You may not even get the fruit of bedtime routines achieved, table manners acquired, multiplication tables learned, or secrets whispered. But what you will get, what we foster parents are working for, is the joy of being faithful right now. Today, I have today. And I will faithfully train and parent and love this child today and for as many more “todays” as I get.
To this little girl, “mommy” meant the female adult of the house, the lady who reached something you couldn't and refilled your juice. Having five “mommies” in five months, she hadn’t had the chance yet to learn what mommy meant.